Posts tagged with "mood disorder"
So i got approved for vocatonal rehab now i gotta go fill out more paper work to get it started.Another thing thats happened was the wife spoke harshly to me sayiiing if it came down to it shed take the kids and leave for a while if i wasnt able to control my anger,which means if i cant get on the right meds quick enough annd somehow make the classes work for me bettter at home then basically for the saftey for her and the kids shed end things with me...Now i dont see how thats fair to me because im going to the classes an taken my meds..I didnt get angry spells over night an not going to get over them over night..The scripts are working part of the time but im not on any real meds to control the anger part of my disorder.taken a break from the kids would be nice but im not in the position to be aaway from the kids for more then a few hours.my wife is starting school again here shortly and leaves me with the kids.so what oppurtunity do i have to work on the anger if im with the kids...its throwing gas on the fire is alll its doing.
Today i went and seen anew doctor..He prescipted me "latuda"along with the trazodone, haldol..Im now on 2 antipchsycotic meds which leads me to believe im borderline schhzoprenic...They havent changed my diagnosis but im begining to wonder if i should as them when i go back
April 10, 2012.Finally all these calls to the doctors office paid off..A new slew of meds again.Haldol for antiphsycosis celexa was upped from 20mg to 40mg and still back on trazadone cause i took too many ambien when i couldnt sleep..Lets see what happens now
Febuary 27, 2012.I started my "dual addiction" class today.Im not sure why they say the lords prayer and the erenity prayer when its not a church,its a public building..Anyways after one class i dont see the match between addictions and mental disorder..Ill give it a few more meeting then ill decide if this class for me..Ive also spoke up about taking the anger managment class and called my case worker on this matter..Dont see why i have to wait to get into this class,especially if it was recommended by thhe doctor i seen at "cedars center".
Febuary 8, 2012. went to see dr today for final visit with "cedars center" doctor.Instead of dropping the scripts he added to them now im taking 4 meds insted of just 2 meds.Im on lithium carb, trazadone, inderal and celexa.I explained to him that i been a week clean beause i didnt like taking the pills; wanted to see if it was the pills were maKing me feel the way i was or getting high would make me feel better,the pills won.He kept asking me how i felt a if he didnt know...It made my head hurt and i felt sick to my stomach.I dont know if this is the end of my doctor visits completly or just a pause in my treatment. well see how i function now im on 4 different meds.
So after a week off the pristiq and having an allergic reaction im starting to have alot of manic episodes..Im feverishly and spontaniously doing things and feeling the go.Go.Go mode.Itll only be followed by a downslide but when i dont know yet..Im in bed by 10 and 11 and up at the crack ass of dawn ready to do something..The haldol works good but it doesnt keep me at a level ground. its either a high or a low mentally..Anything in between is a rareity anymore.When i take it i pass out for an a hour and half then feel like shit for about an hour..I have to say on a postive note no more real delusions as long as i dont stare into the sky to much.at times i have to take 3mg instead of 2 mg just to slow my self down..Whether or not its good for me i dont know..All i know is a crash is going to happen i just dont know when.i also fond out this past week that im a 3rd generation bipolar/ manic peson.my grandma(r.i.p),my mom and now me have or had this mental disorder.grandma drank and ran away from her kids and became a jesus freak later in life,my mom ignores it and puts me down for doing something about it.
January 24 2012. tomorrow i go to my first meeting with my case manager at oaklawn..Im a lil nervous and excited to know more about my mental disrder. i also might start a group called P.I.I.T this week.Asfar as my mental state its a come and go thing.i still dont like taking these pills.Im up to 7 a day.3 lithium,3 chlynodine and trazodone aat night.Though im noticing the chlynoddine isnt helping with the stress or anger.
Had a bad day on saturday night.It started around 730pm when aafter having a killer lasagna dinner my 11yr old help Make.I wanted to lay down on the couch to let it settle and i fell asleep.Maybe a half hour of sleeping i woke uup with my 2 yr old jumping on my back and my 4 yr old screaming at the top of her lungs"give it back".I went from calm and relaxed to a raging bull with his nuts in a sling.I sent put the baby on the floor and immediatly focused on my 4yr old.I sent her to her room and outta no where my wife showed up and told her to go sit down.This has been an issue that been going on for a while now and doesnt seem to be making the situation any better by my wife going against my demands and letting my 4 yr old do what she wants and when she wants.I got up went to my room and called it a night.
Had to call ddr office again about the mania..Its still happening and really wanna get off the rollercoaster and walk around for a bit..Going to see dr on monday to discuss a new script line again and hopefully no allergic. repercussions this time
Since ive stopped the prestiq ive noticed alot of mania..Was it worth stopping the script vs having welts on my hans and fingers.Yeah,but this roller coaster hasnt peaed yet an its begining to spill out again..Lil to no sleep,taking short and brief naps..It really sucks.When the top of the hill hits its going to be a good sign. need to level out soon..Ust go.Go.Go and very bothersome to feel that way..Imm finding things todo when i need to be still and pay attention..If i could id wear my shoes to sleep just so when i do fall asleep and wake up i cand do something.(this is what manic/mania does to me)
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