Tick-Tock

According to a normal human life procedure, after having a first degree, there are two options, first it’s to start working or start doing a business, second it’s to continue studying. Me, I have chosen the first, yet I am totally lost about which working path to take, about my professional orientation. I am uncertain and somehow I am wondering whether my choice back to 7 years was a correct one, that’s pursuing my study in engineering field .

It’s not my first time to evoke this topic in my blog. I don’t really think of it, think of whether the chosen path is my destiny. Each time I think of this, I will recall the very first question, why I chose engineering in the beginning. Naturally I will answer it by telling about my passion in train, in mechanical structure (cable car, roller coaster, train, etc.). Yeah I was so immersed in roller coaster when I was in secondary school. I used to simulate roller coaster behaviour by bending my plastic 20cm ruler, as if the ruler is my roller coaster rolling on a track, my “roller coaster” knows how to dash downward, a sudden turn or even several loop .

A cable car experience during my childhood influenced my choice too. When queuing up to board on a cable car, I was so astonished by the cable car technology, seeing how the big wheel turning above, how a cable car’s door open by itself by a simple mechanism integrated on it, I was so smart to decipher the technology, I was so proud of myself .

Thus I chose engineering, precisely mechanical engineering. Strangely, I am not a sport car enthusiast, nor a motorcycle. I am passionate about train technology as I mentioned in my previous blog. I have a junior from the same hometown, who will be going to pursue her 5-year engineering study in September 2009, she too has the same interest as mine. I am glad that she has the chance to study train technology in a private Engineering School, while I am just merely a general mechanical engineer. Sometimes I ask myself, what I have learnt in the past 5 years? I can’t even remember all the complex equations and formula, I can’t retain important mechanical knowledge. Somehow I am wondering whether I am eligible to be an engineer .

I am uncertain, uncertain of my future. I try to avoid thinking of looking for a job, I am aware that I shouldn’t take a casual thinking in my future, I know that, but I just can’t keep avoiding it. I decided to go back to Malaysia for good in August. That’s what I am certain. The following days by then, I have no idea at all. I am perplexed, I am confused. I am lost at this stage .