Fatimah

My Journey

Monday, September 7, 2009 8:58:52 PM

journey, Islam, love, music, spiritual, life

My Journey into the "LIGHT"

JOURNEY

So many people have asked me the big question " WHY ISLAM"..

I was born Protestant and went to church and even sang in choirs for most of my youth and enjoying the church. However, as I got older and moved around so much the new churches seem to have their own groups and really aren't open to outsiders so I started not to go to church any more and felt left out in my singing and prayers with groups.

I also felt in my marriages I was alone in my faith for God, I had no one to share this love with for God and the husbands did not want to evolve and move higher with me........ so I left them behind.

As EVE, I was VIOLATED both physically and mentally, abused, rejected, and left to DIE, not one time but twice.

In 1999 I realized I needed to feel " A PART OF" something larger, so large it would take my breath away and as I started to meet Muslims online and having in depth converstations I realized I found my calling.

I have always read books about Sufi's however nothing about Islam until I decided to explore the religion more and more. My thirst could not be quenched. I read and read.

A new journey was about to begin.

I was walking a new path in my life and alone this was the hard part
and yet, I was not alone I had my friends online and one, who came to me from Canada
to show me how to pray and do things in the woman sense..

She flew to me for 3 days and we spent a wonderful time sharing and she taught me how to pray. This wonderful woman, bought me wonderful books to get me started in reading to learn more and more, she is now a doctore for children. She was originally from Kuwait.

At this time also I was engaged to my X Egyptian husband who was my spiritual guide
and my oasis of Islam and the bond we shared was unlike any I have had before, the Journey I was on was my final Journey in a spiritual sense,
no more dead ends.

The night I did the ritual for the conversion,
it was a shower in water no soap and
a shahadah, <lā ilāhā illā-llāhu; muhammadu rasūlu-llāhi>
English.. here is no god but God; Muhammad is the messenger of God
to be said with each movement.

AS I washed my hands I knew they would be pure from this point on,
all the bad people I have touched would vanish.

AS I washed my face, I knew the "light" would be in my eyes
My heart light would come through.
My eyes will see God much clearer now.
My heart will feel God closer.

As I washed each part of my body I felt,
I was washing away the years of the voilations
of the abuse
of the rejections
the horrible people in my past
being washed away from my skin.

A new life was about to begin,
PURE as the day I was born.

It's like starting out brand new,
no impurity's, I was pure .

I emerged as Fatimah.

I remember after this time I would feel as I was floating no longer walking.
Feeling Angelic and light and finally at peace.

I have seen a huge difference in my thinking and my self-esteem since becoming Fatimah.
Even with my marriage failing and my life falling apart, I am still strong and confident in my life and my decisions, never wanting to look back . I have to say also with the help of my Opera friends,
thank you all .

When I speak to people about my journey, I see tears swell up in their eyes which comes from their hearts,
those who believe really do enjoy my journey and those who don't.... won't.

There is much more however, this is a sample from my heart to your eyes.
Watch for the book .
Thank you for reading.

IN Light and Love,
Fatimah
[/ALIGN]

The O FactorUntil The End of Time

Comments

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Fatimahzenya # Sunday, June 4, 2006 11:33:52 AM

DISCLAIMER

I am stating only my reasons and my beliefs, I am not suggesting any one to convert to Islam and I am not posting this for a religious debate.

This is one post I won't ever delete and I hope all my readers will appreciate my honesty and sincereity and not use this post for a religious forum.

Thank you for reading

Love to all,

Fatimah

Ramuteramute # Sunday, June 4, 2006 4:34:04 PM

Dear Fatimah, thank you for sharing about your spiritual journey. It is so touching that it realy brings salt water into my eyes. Your experience as you emerged as Fatimah is something very special and dear. Longing for some bigger, for some greater than you - so familliar. You must have found your path and this is what we all long to find. Again, thanks for sharing.
Love and hug,
Ramute.

Fatimahzenya # Sunday, June 4, 2006 5:09:14 PM

Hi Ramute,
Thank you so much for reading my story and feeling the "LIGHT" I have inside my being.
I face difficutly each day however, it's all for a greater purpose in my next journey.

I have found it and no one will take it from me

thank you for always feeling my spirit and embacing me.

Love to you,
Fatimah

Stevensteven wilson # Sunday, June 4, 2006 5:29:41 PM

Dear Fatimah
It is great to see that you have found your inner being so to speak,and happy in your faith.So many spend there lifes looking for the same,but never reach there destination.

warmly
Steven

Fatimahzenya # Sunday, June 4, 2006 8:36:05 PM

HI Steven,

Thank you for understanding my post and your caring words are so welcomed.

Yes, many do spend a life time searching however, some are affraid to accept
what they did find and seem to keep moving past what was right in front of them
all along.

This goes for love too and friendships.

Thank you for reading Steven

Fatimah

MarcusFXM256 # Monday, June 5, 2006 12:45:50 AM

Hi Fatimah,
That is quite an interesting story that you shared with us. A lot has happened to you in your life and I'm sure that you learned from every experience. Glad that your outlook on life has become more postive, despite the negative stuff that has happened to you. You've faced some hard times in your life, but have found the strength to get through them. Glad that Opera friends have been there for you when you needed it too. Thanks for sharing with us.

Love,
Marcus

Fatimahzenya # Monday, June 5, 2006 12:47:49 AM

HI Marcus,

yes I try to learn from all facets of my life it's not easy but if you learn you usually won't make the same decissions again if they were of the wrong kind.

Thank you too for being a friend to me as you are a part of my Opera network.

Love
Fatimah

GyulaHighwayz # Monday, June 5, 2006 8:25:27 AM

Hi dear Eve!

Today is in my country the 'Fatime' (Fatimah) name-day.
Your marvellous post coincides with ur name-day.

Thanx for this post and we wish u Happy Name Day!

With love,

Gyula & of course Edith too

ALLY G.ALLY_G # Monday, June 5, 2006 9:21:21 AM

Dear Eve,
... and further steps will follow... that is our life...

My best wishes to you
Elke

Fatimahzenya # Monday, June 5, 2006 11:00:23 AM

HI Gyula,

Thank you for telling me this I did'nt know that

I am honored to know there is a day for St. Fatima

thank you for sharing and also your love.

Love to you and Edith

Fatimah

Fatimahzenya # Monday, June 5, 2006 11:01:13 AM

HI Elke,

Yes these are steps and thank G they are in the right direction

Thank you for reading and your friendship.

Fatimah

GyulaHighwayz # Monday, June 5, 2006 2:37:19 PM

St. Fatima?

devansdevans186 # Monday, June 5, 2006 6:30:24 PM

Fatimah,
Mine eyes have been opened to see a bit of the journey of your life. It brings a better understanding of you, to me and makes me blink a tear.........of happiness.
Fondest Regards go out to you.

Fatimahzenya # Monday, June 5, 2006 8:46:12 PM

HI Dave,

I am honored that you were moved by my story and my life. thank you for your friendship and your caring always.

I wanted to show everyone that not all Muslims are criminals even tho the news makes it so and of course the actions of those who are bad

thank you my friend for your gentle words and your comments

Love
Fatimah

devansdevans186 # Monday, June 5, 2006 8:50:33 PM

I am sure that we Opera friends would like to hear more of such an interesting life.
and
In my world, Muslims are a kind and gentle people. Like all religions, some of the apples are bad.
POE

Andrzej Uandreu # Tuesday, June 6, 2006 11:23:17 AM

Hi Eve!
I am thanking for exciting opening! I am reading and I am admiring you!! You have so much optimism and faiths in the good in yourself as hardly any man. It is an uncanny metamorphosis! You found happiness and the joie de vivre then again. And the trust in people and the resistance to the evil... thanks of all!

Fatimahzenya # Tuesday, June 6, 2006 9:28:35 PM

HI Dave,

I have written a lot about my life in my earlier posts did you miss any ?

Thank you for your kind words and mainly Muslims are gentle however not all just like in any religion.

HI Andreu.

thank you for reading and sensing me welcome back from your trip too.

Thank you too for your caring words to me as well ,I am honored you feel this way about me.

Love
Fatimah

devansdevans186 # Wednesday, June 7, 2006 9:44:59 PM

My dear Fatimah, please pardon me for not previously reaching back into your archives to follow your journey. I joined Opera in 1/06 and you were one of the first kind contacts. In my busy times, I have not previously taken the time to visit archives, pre Dave

I took the time this morning to do so. While not reading every post, I think I visited enough to acquire a good understanding of what you have been through since moving to Egypt and starting your blog.

Thank you for the prompt. I feel closer and still blinking a tear or two of happiness for you. You do seem to be in a wonderful place in your journey.

Thanks for being a warmest friend,

Dave:D

Fatimahzenya # Wednesday, June 7, 2006 10:15:34 PM

HI Dave,

Thank you for taking the time to walk in my blog and feel some of my time in Egypt and also along my path of my journey.

I have so much to say and really don't know where to start.

One house I clean the lady is a published author and she said she will sit with me and help me start my book

how lucky am I ?

I have spoken to many people and all have said PLEASE WRITE A BOOK..

I know there is a book inside me before my breathing stops I only hope I get it out first.

Thank you dear Dave for being closer to me now than before and for the precious pearls of tears your heart has flowed for me.

Warm hug
Fatimah

devansdevans186 # Thursday, June 8, 2006 1:36:47 PM

Best of luck with the book, it is surely there. Hopefully this person can turn you on to her publisher.
PoE

Fatimahzenya # Thursday, June 8, 2006 9:54:46 PM

HI Dave

that would be nice wouldn't it?

i am hoping for good direction from her and maybe leading to
other people as well.

Just today some one called my cell phone for work and it turns out he writes and
has a book published and is writing a 2 one so now I have him too

God works in mysterious ways.

Fatimah

Pixel-art # Friday, August 18, 2006 11:45:45 PM

Hi fatima,

I read your post and I am really proud of you that you saw many difficulties in your life but you got the right way finally.

I pray for you from GOD that you should always be happy and get everything you want. There are many people who face the problems with their religions that either they are doing right or wrong but very few people get the right decision either to change the religion or just be in GOOD in their own religion.

And you're really lucky that you converted to islam. Now GOD is with you.

I am really inspired by your these words

"As I washed each part of my body I felt,
I was washing away the years of the voilations
of the abuse
of the rejections
the horrible people in my past
being washed away from my skin."

This is so real and so touching. Now you're being protected from sins by the angels surrounding you.

God bless you.

sadaf

Fatimahzenya # Monday, November 6, 2006 3:27:16 AM

Hello Sadaf,

I am sorry for not answering you before I just found your comment tonight.

I thank you for your caring words and I know how sincere you are in stating them.

I am blessed and will always carry inside my heart God and the Angels who protect me
on a daily basis and it's been proven to me over and over.. I am not alone.

Thank you Sadaf for your caring and your friendship which I cherish.

In Love and Light.
Fatimah

gosarias # Sunday, May 27, 2007 6:43:26 PM

aww .this is awesome!!!
While USA trying to destroy muslims , one of american people rises up and has found the right way to the GOD.

Fatimahzenya # Sunday, May 27, 2007 7:01:35 PM

Thank you my friend for reading and understanding
my journey

Thank you again

UZAIRUzair_007 # Tuesday, September 8, 2009 7:34:06 AM

Well i just dont know what to say coz after reading this post my belive on ALLAH is much and much strengthen. But plz spread the message of Islam. It will really make me fell happy and proud and help out the people around you.

Thanks for sharing your feelings. You are much superior than me because i am born as a Muslim. But you found that light by struggling. Sorry if i wrote any sentence or any word wrong because English is not my own language. Take Care Bye

Fatimahzenya # Tuesday, September 8, 2009 10:01:56 PM

Hi again,
thank you for your caring words and words from your heart.
I do share Islam in my blog and enlighten people in ways
maybe a natural born Muslim can't ..
Your english is fine don't worry I haven't seen any horrid
mistakes..

thank you for taking the time to read my heart

Sukma MaseMySukma # Tuesday, September 8, 2009 11:36:20 PM

Subhanallah...sis

i didn't know you are muallaf. I thought you was born as a moslem.
My eyes was tearing while reading your story. You are brave women. Struggle by your self. Alhamdulillah..ALLAH shows u the right way.. May Allah give u the best. Amin.

Fatimahzenya # Wednesday, September 9, 2009 12:51:52 AM

Hi my Sis,
Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
it took me a long time to find my path and
once I set my foot into Islam I knew it was
the right path to walk.

it's not easy being alone and not following all the rules
and holidays however, my heart is pure as my body and soul
and Allah keeps blessing me with a strong spirit

Shokran my sister
Fatimah

Sukma MaseMySukma # Wednesday, September 9, 2009 3:55:36 AM

My pleasure sis

so happy to met a moslem from other country.

even with my bad english you like to talk to me..

I knew someone who has to face her family too with her decision.
But Allah bless both of u with strong soul n spirit....

Fatimahzenya # Wednesday, September 9, 2009 10:07:37 PM

Hi Sis,

Your english is fine and I don't even hear your accent

yes facing the family was another problem for me
as most of my children thought I lost my mind

Sukma MaseMySukma # Wednesday, September 9, 2009 11:31:39 PM

I don't think i can speak english better than my written. Maybe if i talk to u in english by phone or face by face you will just stare at me an confuse wondering what kind of alien language she speak

sorry to heard that..

yeah..my friend should faced her mom. And her mom loves her so much, teach her so hard about their religion, and then suddenly decided to convert to other religion...but till this time she always hide from her mom..

Fatimahzenya # Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:02:39 AM

You are so funny I wouldn't think you were an alien

If you speak slowly in english you will be fine but you have to use it or lose it.

I am sorry to hear about your friend, she should stand tall
to her Mom and be firm saying this is me and me alone.
it's her right to chose what she believes in.

UZAIRUzair_007 # Thursday, September 10, 2009 7:05:03 AM

I think Fatima you should preach Islam and tell the other one,s about the Islam. That it is the religion of peace and plz plz try to stop the propaganda against islam. Coz most aaof the Americans think that we muslims are terrorists. Plz play your role to stop that nonsense. I hope you will do it.

Sukma MaseMySukma # Thursday, September 10, 2009 10:11:18 AM

You are right sis. I should use it. Practices make perfect..

Fatimahzenya # Thursday, September 10, 2009 9:59:17 PM

I do my best and not all Americans think Muslims
are terroist.. just some

Fatimahzenya # Thursday, September 10, 2009 9:59:47 PM

Hi sis,

try to read outloud too this helps hear yourself
speaking in english

Sukma MaseMySukma # Thursday, September 10, 2009 11:05:56 PM

Yes. That's a good advise. But i think i'm gonna need an expert to hear me. Who knows i'll spell the correct words?

Fatimahzenya # Friday, September 11, 2009 9:25:26 PM

LOL Sis you are sooooooooooooo funny.
You will be fine

Sukma MaseMySukma # Friday, September 11, 2009 9:52:20 PM

You think so? It helps me a lot

Fatimahzenya # Saturday, September 12, 2009 10:06:16 PM

yes I do

Sukma MaseMySukma # Sunday, September 13, 2009 3:05:07 PM

You are so nice sis

Edward HurstonThirstyblues # Sunday, April 4, 2010 2:35:08 PM

This was a wonderful story. It's so nice to know somebody from the inside out.

Fatimahzenya # Sunday, April 4, 2010 3:06:21 PM

Thank you Edward
it's nice to know some takes the time to
find out

You're the best !

UZAIRUzair_007 # Monday, April 26, 2010 4:19:12 PM

Hi howz the life going?

Fatimahzenya # Monday, April 26, 2010 10:56:39 PM

Hi
fine how is yours?

UZAIRUzair_007 # Tuesday, May 4, 2010 5:28:16 PM

Me also f9. Did u heared a program which is named as The End of Time. Actually it is in Urdu but it tells every muslim that how this world goes to an end. And the Judgement Day. Well keep searching 4 it. Bcoz when u will listen or see it. I am pretty sure that ur faith will increase a hundred times. Ok sis have a good life and pray for me.

Fatimahzenya # Tuesday, May 4, 2010 9:25:17 PM

no never heard of it where is the link? do they have one in english?

UZAIRUzair_007 # Tuesday, May 11, 2010 8:52:17 AM

I will check it out

UZAIRUzair_007 # Tuesday, May 11, 2010 8:56:24 AM

Sorry i think that youtube oly contains the uru version.. Any way i will search it

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